My country??

I was born in England,when I was 7 and the eldest my father died. Logically, today anyone would advise a widow with 5 children to live the rest of her life with her children in England. Back then in 1988, people gave the same advise but on different grounds. 
The grounds were you have no one to support you financially in Pakistan, you have 3 daughters how will you financially support them and get them married there, you get benefits here you will have to earn in Pakistan and it won't be enough, etc.
My mother had the same answer,' I will be safe there!! it is my country I am safe there! I am a first class citizen there!' 
And so in 1993 my family being a young widow with her 5 children moved to Islamabad, Pakistan.
We lived there 10 years, an average family, where the head of family had to work to bring bread for the family. Not like the Ptv dramas where the head of family is earning and we are living in mansions. But every night I would see how content my mother was, not for a second did she ever regret her decision.
I remember my teenage as a beautiful time, where in the summers every year the whole street would come out, the women would go for a small walk up and down the street, chatting and laughing, the men would sit in small groups discussing politics and us children, we had small groups at the end of the street playing badminton, in the middle cricket and at the top those who wanted to would cycle around the area.
Everyone in the street would leave their main doors open and be in the street.
When ramadan was here it was like a festival every day,just before iftari everyone would be out at the main door waiting for the adaan, not that we never had tvs or radios but as lets listen to the mosque, waiting for the first adaan from any mosque to open fast quickly.
And once that was over the women, men and children would all go for tirawi, different mosques or homes or some even shopping but it was everyone doing everything together atmosphere. It was safe, the streets, the roads, the city. I was a first class citizen, my mother had made the right decision.
I came back to England in 2005, when I came back to the same area we were living before we left all my mums friends and their children would talk to me as I was very backward and knew nothing. After a small period I proved it all wrong and then would be so proud of the decision my mum took and would happily say 'when I have children I will take them too, never will I raise them in England'.
Then slowly Pakistan made it to the headlines every second day, not in a good way. Slowly I got tired of making excuses and blaming politics and people, I just found the easy way if any one would ask you are a Pakistani? the answer was ' No! I only lived there, my mum took us, not like I would ever go there'.
Today after so many years, I spoke to someone in Pakistan, I spoke to them and after a while they said please pray as now it feels as no one is safe here!!
Then spoke to some else a minute into the talk was please pray for Pakistan, circumstances really not good.
And so my evening went by speaking to many Pakistani's all praying for peace and safety!
I still can not get my head around this a country 15 years ago where a widow can turn to with 5 small children being the most secure place has changed to a country I don't even know!! The place to where I could run and be safe like my mother had told us.
What has happened? How have we allowed this to happen?  Where is that pride we had to show who we are? How do we fix this?? Do I wait for a someone else to clear this mess up?
Is everything beyond my control? why can I not like my mum say 'I will be safe there, it is my country'? Am I playing my role, doing my fair share? Or am I treating it like, its a country I have nothing to do with and sitting i my cosy sofa watching tv and blaming others and politics for what is happening?
One thing I know, is the moment I have stopped saying Pakistan and changed it to 'My country' I am changing the way I think and feel about it. And I will bring a change to it.

Would you play?

Who doesn't like a great story, your struggling ,your bank accounts are in debt, working everyday, calculating your pay. Then one lottery ticket changes your whole life. You have become millionaires in under a minute. Now there too much money, so much you can lend money to the banks!


So what is the general concept of the National Lottery?
When I ask my brother he has the same answer " There's more chance of you meeting an alien than winning the lottery!!".
A friend of mine believes its pure luck in this. She does not play because she believes she does not have luck in effortless money. 

Another friend believes in playing 10 entries, each entry being exact replicas of each other so the probability is higher to win.

Another person I know plays £5 a month, says it can happen, its no harm to anyone.

The National Lottery!
Its a very simple game, a bit like the raffle. Just the raffle is not taken out, its a combination of numbers that are pulled out, and if all your numbers match the same sequence you win a lot of cash!!


Would you play the lottery?
Well,  65% of England's population plays the national lottery. 
The rules are very simple, plus the price to enter is only £1 per entry. 


Did you know?
The National Lottery actually is the highest tax revenue in England. 
The National Lottery also pays every 28p on a £1 to helping children in need. 
Would any of these facts change your mind? 

Worth my comment?

Everyday we come across many things, like today many of you will come across this blog. We may skim through blogs that don't interest us, you may read it cos we have nothing else to do. Maybe some of us out there think ok lets just see what general public is interested in these days. What ever the reason, everything we read or write believe it or not does stay with us. 
I myself last night skimmed through 3 blogs, 2 didn't interest me and the third was to do with technology which I am not interested in. After I finished I was not thinking about them or even writing my own blog but I realized that even after 2 hours they had left a bit of themselves with me. That is when it hit me, worth it or not but reading any material is left in my unconscious mind why not go back read them consciously. When I read them consciously I left a comment.
Now the great question is why!
If it has so much influence on my unconscious mind why not make it into a positive and do it consciously. Secondly even a line comment motivates the writer, in all ways e.g helping them to write better , a new thought can be generated, a correction can be made.
The smallest of the smallest comment makes a big difference!
So please help others by helping yourself.

Self Actualization.

Today after a long time, my heart has spoken to me. A thought had hit me, I pondered over it, the brain is saying yes this is the reason and the gut says now everything will be right and the heart comes to and says now we can fix everything along this line.
Then I realize that for a very long time I have not been truthful to myself. I had been thinking I can do it, I have the skills, I am a great communicator, active and very responsible. I can easily hit the nail on the head.
But the truth was not the opposite, actually I had everything with me and I had been seeing more experienced people doing the same activity, I had not done my homework ! worst was I had not done my real home work and not told myself the truth.
I hide the fact that when a situation is thrown at me , my speech goes away, I find it very hard to communicate  even thou in my head I can see clearly what needs to be done.
I hide from the fact that I am an extreme person, I either am friendly or so aggressive, so there is no middle person where people around me find it uncomfortable to talk about the situation there and then.  
The whole point I want to make is regardless we are at work, in a team, at home or an institute, we need to meet ourselves, in the dark or in the light. Whether we are a mother/father or a CEO or a manager, we need to open the truth to our own selves and focus on our own fault that my be our own enemy.
There is always a point for us to improve and grow. Meet our real self!

Why the name?

As many of you would know that the name I have chosen is of a famous movie!
For those of you who haven't seen it, please do watch it, it is a great movie. It revolves around the concept of being able to go back into time and changing history. The most important part is every time they go back to the same time or an interval of 8minutes.
Now I have been thinking a lot n this topic, as its one we all must have noticed and I feel it is unspoken of, we most times of our lives while doing something can recall that we have done exactly the same thing with the exact same surroundings, time, day and weather before. In other words we feel as we are repeating a happening.
We met someone for the first time but we can recall have met them before and having the conversation now being held sometime before!!!
When we say predestined is this the translation of it? we have gone through it before? Or like the matrix, the body is here but the soul is not always here, it does the pre-meetings.
Is the soul always with us? or as the saying goes that we are dead in out sleep, the soul is allowed to wonder?
If we pick up religion, the soul was made before the body and it will always stay.
Please do share your views and comments.May be someone else has a more clear thought!

A thought!

Here's a thought, are we always suppose to look back and say 'oh we could have done this that certain way, 'I regret not doing that' etc..
Or the times that we are honest to ourselves and sit and think thoroughly about that particular time and all the things that were happening at the time, plus the state of mind we were in and say 'I gave it my all, now looking back as I am out of that picture I see I could have made thing better. But for that time and place I did do the best, I could not have done it better. Anyone in my place and that time would have done the same.'
At times we need to let go by accepting we went wrong. We did do the best we knew for that time. And if we are taken back to that time in question now, we would do everything exactly the same!

I am a Blogger now!

I have just now created my blog! 

The feeling is very different too when I decided that yes I want my own blog and that I am going to share my writing and opinion on a platform.

Until the moment this page came up, I had a feeling as I will write and I have so much to share, I will be writing dash dash and dash. When this page came up I am lost in where to start from and how to start.

One thing I know very deeply that this platform is a great start to each persons own growth, in every aspect. It is growth of not only ones thought or way to write, its a process which we go through and unravel the power of a journey within ourselves! 

My journey has started from this point, after a friend motivating me for several days! 

Thank you to my special friend!